


Taxi Cab

by buxy



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Smut, I'll probably edit these chapters, M/M, Night Terrors, SO GAY, Underage Drinking, actually Blurryface a lot okok, but NO SLURS, gonna change POVs sometimes mkay, im a slut for drama, it will get better i promise, maybe smut, more tags as i go on, small bits of Blurryface, some homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-05-04 02:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5317265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buxy/pseuds/buxy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alright these first few chapters are kinda shitty IM SORRY. They will get better, I promise. Comment and let me know what you think!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Glowing Eyes

He groaned. He turned on his side, facing the wall his bed was against and groaned. The beeping got more annoying and he decided it was in his best interest to turn it off. He rolled over and let his hand slide against the black surface to find the off button. Once it had stopped, he rubbed his face and sat up, the cool air from no loner having a blanket around him made him shiver and tiny goosebumps started to appear on his bare torso. He sighed, getting out of bed and slowly walked over to his dresser. He pulled out a t-shirt with faded pictures of cats, black jeans, and a fresh pair of boxers before opening his door and walking to the bathroom. The door was closed and when he tried turning the knob, it was locked. He rolled his eyes and started banging on the door. "Let's go! I have to take a shower before school, get out!" A door opened behind him and his youngest sister came out of her room in her pajamas. "Sorry, Abby. Are you feeling any better?" she shrugged. "Going to school today?" she shook her head and Josh knelt down, placing the back of his hand on her forehead, a look of relief washed over Abigail's face feeling her brothers cool hand on her fevered forehead. He sighed and stuck out his bottom lip, "sorry for waking you, go get some more sleep and I'll bring you ice cream after school," she smiled a thank you, "don't tell Mom." she nodded before closing her door. The bathroom door opened and he sighed, standing and pushing past his other sister, closing the door when she left. He turned the knob in the shower and waited for the water to heat up before stripping off his boxers and basketball shorts and climbing in, closing his eyes and relaxing when the water started to warm him.

 

\---

 

It was only two days into junior year. Josh was sitting in his history class waiting for the teacher ramble on and on about a war, or something. His head shot up when Mr. Roberts began calling attendance, he tried to find some friendly faces in the desks. He noticed a smiling face. Dark hair, dark eyes, crooked teeth. The boy was laughing with someone behind him, his eyes squinting when he smiled. It made Josh's cheeks heat up. The boy's eyes landed on Josh's, causing him to look down at his desk, his knee bouncing up and down, and his cheeks flushing a deeper pink. His stomach did back flips. He realized everyone's eyes were on him. Did I say something he thought. "Dun! Joshua Dun!" Mr. Roberts called again. 

Josh felt stupid. "Here!" he called out, embarrassment ringing through his voice. He continued to stare at the boy, trying to read his face. 

"Here," the boy said, turning to Roberts before back at his friend. Tyler Joseph. Wait... Fuck. Basketball-playing-gym-shorts-wearing-friends-with-the-douchiest-douches-in-town Tyler Joseph. How did I not recognize him? His hair was fluffy at the top, his eyes were... glowing practically. He looked over at Josh and smiled who swallowed hard and looked down. Drowning. Suffocating. He wanted to run away. Adrenaline rushing through his veins, Josh wasn't sure if he was going to throw up or pass out. He spent the class staring at the back of Tyler's head, and doodling in his notebook. 

The bell rang before Josh knew it and he was out the door, brushing past Tyler and his jock friends. "S-sorry," Josh stuttered out. Tyler's friends laughed and rolled their eyes, but Tyler didn't partake in the teasing. He merely nodded and smiled, Josh was washed over with relief as he stepped into the hallway. God, Tyler smelt good. He smiled and he felt someone clap two hands on his shoulders. He rolled his eyes and his smile grew. "And here, gents, and gents, is the one, the only, Joshua Dun! How've you been my friend?" Brendon's voice rung out and Josh laughed along with their friends who were walking close behind Brendon. They reached his locker and he spun the dial, pulling open the metal door. Brendon pulled it so it was against the locker next to his and leaned against the blue metal frame as Josh exchanged books. He noticed Jack, Alex, and Pete standing next to him.

"I'm fine, Brendon. What's up, what class do you guys have next."

"Music," Pete smiled.

"Me too," Josh said with excitement that a friend was finally in his class. 

"English," Jack sighed.

"History," Brendon rolled his eyes. "Hey, what were you cheesing about when you got out of class?" Josh opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. 

"Josh is smitten." Pete smirked. 

"Am not. Where's Patrick? Too sore to come to school?!" Josh teased, causing Alex, Jack, and Brendon to burst out laughing. The bell rang, Josh closed his locker door, walking with Pete to music class, the two teasing each other the whole way. 

It has always been Josh's favorite. The teacher, Ms. Johnson, and Josh had a good bond, good enough for him to feel comfortable to talk about anything with her, family, friends, relationships. Pete took a seat in the back corner and Josh sat next to him, putting his books on the table and leaning back. 

The door opened and closed a few more times with more students. Josh noticed them from earlier years and groaned when he saw Tyler's douchebag jock friends. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he took it out, unlocking it and noticing Brendon changed the name of the ongoing group message from "fuckboy squad" to "josh is a slut!!" he rolled his eyes and showed Pete who took out his phone. Josh started typing:

Sent: why

Pete: lol true

Brendon: HAHA 

Sent: wtf

Jack: josh ur a slut

Sent: how did this even start

Brendon: you've always been a slut shut up

Alex: josh you're a slut

Sent: don't slutshame

Brendon: no one said it was a bad thing. we're just stating you're a slut!

Sent: I'm so confused

Sent: has anyone seen Patrick?

Brendon: PETE

Jack: pete.....

Alex: PETE DID YOU LEAVE TRICK IN YOUR BED FUCK

Sent: Pete what did you do

Josh sent that while staring at Pete next to him, his face turning bright red, causing Josh to laugh.

Pete: trick is here. idk why he's not answering

Brendon: did you pull a quickie before school ;)

Pete: fuck off, no!

Alex: liar

Jack: LIES I SAW PATRICK THIS MORNING 

Pete: yes, and??

Jack: his hair was all kinds of fucked up. sex hair

Pete: fuck off

Sent: Pete is blushing v hard rn

Pete: FUCK OFF JOSH YOURE IN LOVE WITH TYLER JOSEPH

Josh's eyes got wide and he looked at Pete next to him who was smirking.

Brendon: WHAT

Brendon: TYLER JOSEPH?!

Jack: WHAT

Alex: WHAT

Alex: TYLER JOSEPH?!

Alex: wait who's that again

Pete: basketball player. he's in our grade. the one who walked out behind Josh when we met up with him 

Alex: ohh right

Alex: WHAT. TYLER JOSEPH FUCKS SAKE JOSH

Brendon: JOSH SAY SOMETHING 

Sent: I am not in love with him

Pete: bullshit I know you practically went weak in the knees when you bumped into him on the way out of class

Sent: I don't love him!

Brendon: I'm coming over after school okay? okay

Sent: sure but I have to get ice cream for Abby. did you drive today?

Brendon: car is totaled

Sent: wtf

Brendon: I'll explain later

Sent: okay. anyone else coming over

Pete: can't trick and I need to study

Sent: on the second day of school mhm

Trick: what yes hi hello

Jack: ur not studying stfu

Trick: Pete what did you do

Alex: THEYRE GONNA FUCK

Brendon: oooo 

Josh put his phone in his pocket and carried on with the day, sending texts now and then. His classes dragged on and on until the last one of the day. English. Josh didn't mind it. That is until Tyler Joseph came and sat next to him. Brendon on the other side of him, he turned and looked for help. Brendon's eyes wide, he placed a calm hand on his shoulder and gave him a smile. Retracting his hand, he looked forward and pulled out his phone. Josh was expecting to have to back-read the group message as he was certain Brendon was teasing him. Tyler tapped Josh's forearm, causing him to look over. "You're in my history class, right?" Josh nodded. "I'm Tyler," he smiled.

"Josh," he smiled back. His knee started bouncing. 

"Jordan told me you were in music with him, right?" Josh's forehead crinkled, trying to picture which douchebag jock Jordan was. His mouth opened to speak but he was rudely interrupted by Ms. Green.

"Tyler! Josh! Pay attention, please. We have a long year ahead of us." She spoke, scribbling something onto the board.

That was it. Josh's heart practically stopped beating, his breath caught in his throat. He was frozen. Hearing his name rolled out and fit perfectly next to Tyler's, like a puzzle piece. He replayed it in his mind until the bell rang and brought him out of his daydream. 

\---

Brendon climbed into Josh's car. "Are we waiting for Alex and Jack?" he asked when Josh didn't turn on his car right away.

"No, they told me they'll come over later." Brendon nodded and Josh plugged his phone into the auxillory cord and started playing Oh Well by G-Eazy while he pulled out of his parking spot, the bass trembling through his car. Josh caught sight of Tyler getting into his own car with his younger brother Zack. Of course the traffic of the students getting out of school had to stop and put Josh right in front of Tyler. He bit his lip and turned the music down. Brendon looked over and noticed Josh was trying his hardest not to look over at Tyler who was now leaning against his car talking to his jock friends. The douchebags. 

"You're not gonna pop a boner are you?" Brendon smirked and Josh glared at him, letting go of a breath he hadn't known he was holding when traffic started to move forward. They got to the road, driving through the town and pulling into a Dairy Queen. He got a small milkshake for his sister and one for Brendon who was giving him puppy dog eyes. Driving home, Brendon went through Josh's music on his phone playing Death Cab For Cutie, Blink-182 and everything in between. He pulled into his driveway, a grey-blue house in front of them with a small brick porch. He grabbed his books and walked in with Brendon to find Abigail watching Lizzie McGuire. He gave her the milkshake, told her to be careful and that the rest of the guys will be coming over. She nodded and they went down the hall to his room. "So Tyler."

Josh sighed, "what about Tyler?"


	2. This Is Not What I Had Planned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit goes down, fuckers.
> 
> WARNING: homophobia. NO SLURS

"What about Tyler?!" Brendon scoffed and Josh sat on his bed. Brendon put down his milkshake and hopped on Josh's desk. His room was a mess. Clothes, broken drumsticks, random pieces of paper all over the floor. His blankets hanging onto his bed for dear life. It was a simple room. A bed in the corner, blue sheets with a black comforter, a small, dark brown wooden table on its right. His dresser was pushed next to his closet, parallel to his bed and his desk sat next to his door, across from the foot of his bed. Off-white walls and a tapestry hanging over the window against his bed. Posters of bands hung around on the walls, his favorite one on the ceiling above his bed 'I want to believe' with a UFO under it. "When are you going to ask him out?" a smirk rose on his lips.

"You know I can't do that," saying that, Josh felt his heart begin to race.

"And why not?"

"Well first, I don't even know if he's gay, and how the hell would I ask him that? 'Hey, Tyler, are you gay? Because you're fucking gorgeous and I can't help but die every time you smile' no, Brendon, I can't ask that. You can't just ask someone if they're gay, you just have to find out some how. Second of all, his friends are the douchiest people in the world and I'm pretty sure, like 80%, that they would kill me if they saw me lay a finger on their precious point-guard. They would humiliate me and then I'd feel like shit because Tyler would probably feel like shit and that's not fair to him. Third of all," Josh caught his breath, he didn't realize how fast he was talking until he was out of air and Brendon's eyebrows were so far up his face it looked like he had a normal-sized forehead. "My parents would kill me. Kill me. Kick me out of the house, disown me, force me to change my last name so they have no way of being related to me. I can't, Brendon. I can't because I will have no where to go if I bring a boy home." Josh felt his chin quiver and he bit his tongue.

"Josh, that's not true. Your parents love you no matter what. Don't be a cry baby, grow a pair of balls and ask Tyler out!" Josh glared at him and shook his head. "Tell me what you think about him."

"Well," Josh raised his eyebrows, his eyes wandered to a shoe on his floor and he wondered where the other one was. He came back his thoughts, "He's so... His eyes are so... And his smile is like..."

"Fuck, Josh, use your words!" Brendon laughed pulling out his phone, Josh's soon buzzed next to him:

Brendon: you guys are missing out

Jack: what

Alex: What

Brendon: Josh doesn't know how to use words

Jack: one could say he's.............

Alex: DON'T

Brendon: DON'T. YOU. DARE

Jack: .....dun

Brendon: FUCK OFF

Alex: you pizza shit

Josh was reading along, shaking his head

Brendon: is anyone spying on Pete and trick

Alex: why tf do you think Jack and I are taking so long

Sent: wait you guys stopped blowing each other... to watch pete and trick blow each other???

Alex: FUCK JOSH

Jack: we're on our way

Brendon: you sick fucks

Josh locked his phone, picking up two drumsticks off the floor and tapping his knees in a rhythm, nodding his head along. Brendon tried to tell him that his parents would always love him but he wasn't listening. He was pulled out of his thoughts minutes later when Alex and Jack barged into the room. Alex sat next to Josh and Jack pulled out the wheelie chair from Josh's desk, sitting in it when it was in a spot so the four created some sort of half circle. Josh threw Brendon a pillow to stuff under the door and Alex pulled out a plastic baggy from the waist band of his boxers. Josh walked over to his dresser, rummaging in the clothes until he pulls out a piece of glass. It had a long rod with a hollowed out bowl at the end. It was Josh's favorite. Light green, little bit of white, some blue lines all mixed together, the end of the bowl spiraled out purple from previous smoke sessions. "What time is it," he asked, still standing at his dresser, but now facing the guys. 

"3:10," Brendon said, checking his phone.

"Sweet, we have, like, 3 hours until my mom comes home." Josh grabbed his grinder and closed the dresser before sitting back on his bed. Alex handed him some spuds of weed, putting it in the grinder and letting Josh grind it. He checked it, sighing and continued to grind the weed. Minutes later, Josh opened the grinder and took his finger, pinching the weed and packing the bowl. He pushed Alex's hand away as we was about to grab it. "He who packs it, smacks it." he smirked, taking a lighter from his pocket, covering the carb, lighting the bud and inhaling. He let go of the carb, inhaling the smoke, then took the pipe from his mouth and exhaled. He started to hand it to Jack.

"Excuse me, left is love, Josh!" Alex called out. Josh rolled his eyes and handed him the pipe.

"Did you learn how to speak yet?" Jack asked, attempting humor.

"What?" 

"Bren said you couldn't think of words..." 

"Oh, oh, that. Yeah, Tyler is... perfect." Josh believed himself, thinking over past events from the day. He imagined Tyler's smile and laugh and how he wished he could kiss those perfectly plump lips. 

"Josh, don't get a hard on, man!" Brendon laughed and Josh felt his cheeks go pink. He took a hit, exhaling before he spoke, "fucking ask him out already!"

"I can't! You guys know that. I don't even know if he's gay."

"He is." Alex spoke up, everyone looking over confused. "I didn't do anything but I saw him checking a guy out a while ago. Trust me, he's gay."

"Josh you should walk in front of him more," Brendon laughed and Josh rolled his eyes.

\---

Jack and Alex had left about twenty minutes ago and Josh sat on his bed with Brendon who was putting eyedrops to get rid of red. Josh felt good. His head felt light on his shoulders, a lazy smile on his lips. He liked feeling like he was in the clouds. Josh was stoned, but coming down from the smoke session that ended a while ago. "Are you staying for dinner?" He looked up at Brendon who was blinking from the drops. 

"Fuck yes. I'm starving." 

"Same, dude." Josh smiled as he heard his front door open and close. He grabbed the Fabreeze bottle on his desk and sprayed it around, they changed their shirts, Josh loaning Brendon one. He heard his father call his name from downstairs and he rolled his eyes. Him and Brendon sauntered down the hall and into the kitchen. "Hi, Dad."

"Hi, Mr. Dun." Brendon smiled. 

"Hello, Brendon. Are you staying for dinner?" Josh's mother smiled from the fridge.

"If that's alright with all of you!" Brendon smiled hopeful. 

"Of course, hun, you're always welcome," she smiled. 

As dinner was being made, his father looked over at Josh. "Josh, any girl catch your eye yet?" Josh rolled his eyes. 

"No, Dad." he sighed, rolling an apple back and forth on the counter. 

"It'll happen, I have faith." hearing that, Josh dead panned Brendon who looked worried against the wall next to him. 

"What if I don't want a girlfriend?" He mumbled under his breath. 

"What did you just say?!" His father rang, anger trembling in his voice. 

Josh looked up from the apple, his eyes wide, "nothing. I didn't say anything."

"That's what I thought. Go set the table." Josh obliged and went around the counter, over to where his mother was standing and pulled open the drawer pulling out placemats. "Ashley won't be home for dinner, she's at her boyfriends," his father told him. Josh rolled his eyes for what felt like the billionth time today. He put one back and walked over the the dinner table, placing one at each seat. Brendon grabbed the plates and followed him, copying his actions. Brendon could tell Josh was hurt. Brendon knew he had to do something about it. 

Josh never officially came out to his parents, but he was pretty sure they knew. He didn't mind hiding his sexuality, but he did mind when his parents were blatantly against it. Mainly his father, his mother was a little bit more forgiving, not that Josh was sorry for anything. Brendon has asked Josh many times to be a way of coming out for Josh. His parents loved Brendon, for a reason unbeknownst to Josh (Brendon has always been insane in the membrane), but they loved him and Brendon believed that if Josh told his parents he was dating Brendon, they wouldn't be as mad. Josh looked back at him and shook his head. His mother brought over waters for each place at the table and gave her son a forgiving smile, Josh nodded. "Josh, honey, will you go wake Abigail, and get Jordan?" Josh nodded and walked out of the kitchen, down the hall, he knocked on Jordan's door, calling for dinner from the outside and slowly opened Abby's door. She was asleep in bed and he carefully woke her up.

"What, Josh?" she asked groggily.

"Dinner's ready, Mom wanted me to get you." she nodded and held her arms open for him to pick her up. He did and carried her to the kitchen bridal style, placing her on the floor. His mom gave her some medicine and Josh took his seat at the table, Brendon sitting next to him, Abigail sitting across from Josh with Jordan on her left and his parents and either head of the table. Dinner started and Josh didn't say much, coming down from his high always made him very quiet but Brendon knew it was mixed with other things.

"Do you guys have any classes together?" his mother asked, taking a bite of the roasted chicken on her plate.

"Mhm, yes. We have... English, and.. what else? Chemistry, right?" Brendon asked, looking at Josh. 

"What? Yeah, English and chemistry. I have music with Pete, and math with Jack and Trick." Josh said, trying to have some sort of feeling in his voice. But Josh just felt like sleeping, and crying. He wanted to yell on the rooftops how he was so head over heals. But with a boy?! How dare he ever say such a thing. His mother smiled and his father nodded. 

"Brendon, do you have a girlfriend?" his father stared at him hopeful. Josh knew from right then and there their earlier conversation hadn't left his mind, that pissed Josh off.

"No, I don't. I mean.. have you seen me? Let's be honest, I am a flaming homo." he laughed and Josh laughed with him, nodding in agreement. His father shook his head. "It's not a bad thing, Mr. Dun. It's just who I am. You wouldn't hate Josh's best friend would ya?" He ignored him and dinner carried on quietly. "So, Josh," Brendon looked next to him at the boy who glared back, he knew what was coming. "I think you should just go up to him and kiss him! That's like the perfect way to ask someone out, and to find out if they're gay at the same time!" Josh put his fork down and looked up from his plate, he saw Abby and Jordan smiling, as if nothing was wrong, but Josh knew what was coming. Josh wasn't sure if he was prepared but he didn't care. He was done. Sober, tired, drained. Josh felt like he was breaking right then and there. His dad shot up from the table, as did Josh. 

"Get out." was all his father said.

"W-what?!"

"You heard me! Get. Out. This is a disgrace, a sin, and you know that, Joshua. I don't want this in my house around your siblings."

"Bill, I think you're being a little unreasonable-"

"You don't want what? Love? You don't want me teaching them to be who they are? That's ridiculous!" Josh countered at his father. His blood boiling inside of him, he was livid.

"Joshua!" sadness shook through her voice watching her son's emotions take over his body and mind. Abby and Jordan watched, confused. They figured Josh was gay, but didn't think anything of it. He was their big brother, their best friend.

"Mom, it's fine, but don't act like you never knew. I know you knew and that's why you've treated me like shit for so long. Ashley gets things handed to her on a silver plate but I have to work for everything I do." he turned from his mom to his dad, " So yeah, Dad, I'm gay. I'm so gay. So incredibly gay. Yeah, maybe Brendon is right, I should just go up to him and kiss him. Kiss those perfect lips of his," he took a step closer, anger bubbling inside of his chest. Josh just couldn't take it anymore. He felt bad for exploding in front of his siblings and mother, but he reached his breaking point. "I don't like girls. I don't find them attractive, but you wanna know what I do find attractive. The brown haired boy with matching eyes and a crooked toothed smile in my History and English class. Mm, those perfect lips, and his hands, I would give anything to feel those hands on me. Oh, God, I would give anything kiss hi-" Josh didn't stop himself. Josh's heart was racing. Josh's father stopped him. Leaving a red hand print on Josh's cheek. Josh walked away and Brendon followed. It was quiet in the kitchen as they walked into Josh's room. 

"Josh-" Brendon started but stopped when Josh pulled out a duffel bag. He grabbed clothes from his dresser, his drumsticks, some notebooks, phone charger, pack of cigarettes, lighter, shoes, socks, underwear. "You can stay as long as you want, okay?" Josh nodded, he felt tears at his eyelids but swallowed them back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT WILL GET BETTER I PROMISE


	3. Ode To Sleep

Brendon opened his front door and let Josh inside his house. His parents sitting at the couch watching the news, Josh kept his head low, he felt bad for intruding, but Brendon had always reassured him that his place was always a home away from home. Josh held his breath, he felt anxious and tense and he would give anything to have one of the cigarettes which were burning a hole in his bag. Brendon could feel Josh's nerves radiating off him, practically pouring onto Brendon. He rubbed Josh's back. His mom turned when she heard the door open and close, a concerned look on her face when she saw Josh. "Is it alright if he stays the night?"

"Of course. Josh, honey you're always welcomed here," she gave a warm smile.

"Hi, Josh, everything alright?" Brendon's father spoke up. Josh stared at his shoes and nodded, Mr. Urie dismissing it and letting the two boys go to Brendon's room. Josh stood for a minute when Brendon sat on the bed, putting his bag down and hopped on the desk next to him, across from his friend. The room was cleaner than usual, less clothes on the floor. A keyboard sat in the corner, some pieces of paper with words scribbled across them laying over the keys. Josh stared at it.

"I miss my drums," he mumbled and Brendon smiled.

"I bet they miss you too. Go shower, we have lots of Tyler planning."

"I don't want to talk about Ty--," Josh snapped before taking a breath and calming his voice, "him. I don't want to talk about him." He looked down at his feet hanging over the floor.

"Josh... Don't think tonight determined anything, you have to prove them wrong, and you will. Now, go shower and then come back. You can sleep in the guest room, but, like I said, we have lots of Tyler planning. Don't take long jacking off in there." Brendon smirked and shooed him, flinging the back of his hand with his wrist. Josh rolled his eyes, forcing a small smile and sliding off the desk. He walked out with his bag and went into the guest room, slipping off his shoes and pulling out basketball shorts and a plain black T-shirt before walking into the bathroom. He started the water and stared at himself in the mirror. He remembered that morning, with his sister, fighting over the use of the bathroom like they did every morning, a routine. He saw the steam creep up the mirror and shook his head out of his thoughts. He pulled his T-shirt over his head, unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them off with his boxers and stepped into the shower. He sighed and closed his eyes. For some reason he couldn't get Tyler off his mind.

No, Josh, no. Not here, do not start thinking of Tyler and his perfectly plump pink lips that you want to bite while you're in your best friends shower. Josh thought as the water beat down on his chest. His eyes went wide and he looked down. Fuck. Alright, it's fine, it's fine just... think of someone else. Get. Tyler. Out. Of. Your. Head. Josh. Tyler. Head. Fuck. Dammit. No. Stop thinking that. Get that image out of your head. He's probably straight. Straight. Think of kissing a girl. That's good. Boobs. Boobs everywhere! So many boobs! Boobs galore! Josh opened his eyes, relieved his problem is now gone. He stared at his feet, his eyes roaming up the tiled walls as he sighed. He wanted to go home. He would give anything to go home.

That was a lie.

He would never apologize for what he said at dinner. All of it was true and Josh was not about to change himself for anyone. Even if that included his parents. He let a few tears run down his face as the warm water ran over his hair, and down his back and arms. Josh wasn't sure how long he's been standing there but he didn't want Brendon to worry. Not that he would, Josh thought but quickly shook it out of his head, turned off the water and stepped out, grabbing a towel from the hook. He shook the towel through his brown curly hair, slipped on his boxers, basketball shorts and T-shirt before heading back to Brendon's room. He walked in and leaned against the desk, staying quiet.

"There were towels on the hooks," Brendon said when he looked up from his phone, noticing Josh's shirt was clinging to his still-wet body. Josh nodded and Brendon shook his head. "Okay. So. Tyler Joseph." a sly smile rose on his lips. "I say we have a party."

"And why would Tyler go to this said party? Are you guys, like, all of a sudden best friends?" Josh asked, genuinely confused as to why Tyler would go to a party Brendon threw.

"Well, no, but I sell his friends weed and if they're going, he'll go. I've seen him at a few before." Josh didn't really respond in any way, but Brendon could tell he was listening. He unlocked his phone and went to his calendar, staring at the dates. "How about next weekend?" Josh shrugged. He didn't care. He trying to picture the party, trying to picture what Tyler would look like. Josh wondered if he would even talk to Tyler. "Hey," Josh heard his friends voice and looked up from his stare at the floor, "are you hungry? We didn't really get a chance to finish dinner." Josh nodded, standing up straight. His mouth watered at the thought of food. "Applebee's? My treat," Brendon smiled and Josh sighed lightly, nodding again. Brendon unlocked his phone and sent a text to the rest of the guys to meet them at the restaurant. They walked out of the room, Josh going into the guest room, slipping on his shoes and following Brendon back down the hall. "Mom? Josh and I didn't eat too much so we're gonna grab something with the guys." 

"Alright, honey, be careful, and don't be too late okay?" Brendon and Josh nodded, walking out to Josh's car and getting in, starting the engine and driving down the block onto the main road.

"You never told me what happened to your car," Josh spoke up.

"Ha, funny story actually, so, you know Dallon?"

"Weekes? The senior?" Brendon hummed a yes, "yeah, why? Did you guys fuck?" Josh asked excitedly.

"Yes--no! No, we did not fuck... yet," Josh gasped, his eyes wide as he laughed. "No, but, we were kind of drunk and I kind of drove into a ditch. So now its on the side of I-95..." Brendon trailed off.

"You fucking idiot." Josh shook his head as he pulled into the parking lot. He saw Pete's car and parked next to it, getting out and walking inside with Brendon. The hostess sat them with Pete and Patrick. Soon, the rest of the gang showed up as the waitress getting their drinks and food order. "What color should I dye my hair?" Josh asked Patrick sitting across him. The others heard and looked over. 

"You wanna dye your hair?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, why not."

"Blue," Alex smiled.

"No, pink!" Patrick protested.

"I think red would look badass with your dark hair, and light complection," Jack noted, the table went silent and they looked at him. "What? It's true. Just do the top, you'd look like a BAMF." They laughed and Josh rolled his eyes.

"Red, it is."

"Trying to grab someones attention?" Pete smirked as the waitress placed their drinks on the table. Josh blushed.

"I think he already has his attention. They talked in English." Brendon leaned into the table.

"Oh, really?" Alex's eyebrow rose, "do tell."

"We didn't talk. He introduced himself and that was it, really!" They all rolled their eyes and Patrick let out a huff. 

 

\---

 

Josh looked in the mirror. Red dripping into the sink. His eyes wide. He was pushed over the counter, his head in the sink and a sudden rush of water hit the back of his neck, running over the back of his head. He squeezed his eyes shut, not letting the dye penetrate him. He was pulled back a bit, fingers ran through his hair. This lasted a little less than ten minutes, Josh's back started to hurt. He stood up and Alex through a towel at his face which he grabbed and rubbed his eyes and hair with it. Alex was the only one he trusted with the dye bottle, he knew the others would turn his whole head bright red. He looked in the mirror and took in the new color, Alex stood behind him, his hands on his hips and a proud smile on his lips. The guys all crowded the door to get a look. Josh smiled at them and a bright flash was struck, his eyes closing as he laughed. It came from Brendon's phone so he knew it wouldn't be good on his end. Brendon's mom walked over and the laughing died down when they all saw the scowl on her face. "It's late, boys, time to go home." They nodded and she walked away. Josh hadn't noticed it was almost 11:30 until he looked over at Brendon's phone when he checked the time. 

"Hey, Josh could you give me a ride, I'm out of the way from Pete's house and you're on the way." Patrick asked quietly.

"Well, actually, I'm staying here tonight.." Josh bit his tongue and they turned to give him a confused look. "It's a long story, I'll explain later."

"Babe, why don't you just stay with me?" Pete smiled, Patrick blushed and gave him a nod. The guys all walked out, Brendon locking the front door, walking with Josh to their rooms. 

Josh stopped at the guest room door when Brendon turned to him, tapping his forearm. "If you need anything, just come wake me up, alright?" Josh nodded and smiled a thank you. He walked into the room. It was pretty plain, large bed, bare walls, a small night stand with a lamp next to the bed and a dresser next to the stand. He slipped off his shoes, T-shirt and basketball shorts, turned off the lights and climbed under the covers. He checked his social medias once more, seeing the picture Brendon had taken earlier on Snapchat, bright red on the top of his head with the caption: 'jishwa's new head,' he rolled his eyes. Josh let out a deep sigh, he wasn't sure how much sleep he'd get but he didn't promise any. He replayed the small encounter he had with the matching eye and hair boy. He felt warm. For the first time in this long night, he felt a warm, bubbly feeling in his chest. His eyes fluttered shut and he pictured the party. He pictured Tyler.

_"Mmm, Josh." He heard in his ear as his lips plucked at a tan neck, sucking on the tender skin. Hands were in his hair, pulling at the freshly dyed red curls. Josh's hands went to the boy's hips, pulling him closer but at the same time, Josh was backing him further into the wall Tyler was already against. Josh needed to feel more. He needed all the friction he could get. He rolled his hips into Tyler's and heard a gasp in his ear. "J-Jossshh."_

_"Mm, yes?" Josh hummed into his collarbone, leaving a string of bruises. He rolled his hips again, he could feel Tyler getting harder, and harder._


	4. Air Catcher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any typos, I wrote some of this on a plane on my phone and I got lazy while editing. Bear with me. This is also kind of a filler chapter I'm sorry if it sucks, please let me know what you think. Thanks for reading, frens! Stay alive!

His eyes fluttered open, squinting at the sudden brightness. He felt two hands on him, shoving him from side to side and he groaned. "Josh, for the love of everything good in the world, wake up!" Josh heard Brendon's voice above him and he opened his eyes wider, sitting up and leaning on his elbows. "Finally," Brendon sighed.

"What time is it?" he rubbed his face, digging his index finger into the corner of his eye.

"A little after seven. What do you want for breakfast?"

"I'll have whatever kind of cereal you have," Brendon nodded at him before walking out of the room. He sat up right and swung his legs over the side of the bed, grabbing his phone.

Missed Call (3): Mom

Ashley: iMessage (8)

Josh swiped open the text messages from his sister and read through them:

Ashley: Where are you?

Ashley: Mom and dad won't tell me anything what happened?

Ashley: Josh????

Ashley: Are you coming home tonight?

Ashley: Tell me you're not drunk.

Ashley: Josh are you fucking drunk? please answer me!

Ashley: Do I need to come get you???

Ashley: I hope you're safe. Mom and dad still won't tell me anything

He felt bad for not seeing her texts and he hoped he'd run into her at school, he promised himself he would try to. Josh locked his phone, unplugging it from the charger and shuffled through his bag. He pulled out a black t shirt, black skinny jeans, a red flannel, and a tan hat. He slipped out of his boxers, pulling on a fresh pair before dressing himself in front of the body mirror hanging on the back of the door. He walked through the door to the bathroom, he found a toothbrush in the box it came in and Josh hoped it was for him.

Breakfast was awkward to say the least. Josh kept quiet as Brendon and his mom made small talk. Josh checked the time on his phone. 7:32. He looked up at Brendon who nodded, taking their bowls to the sink. They said goodbye to Mrs. Urie and walked out to Josh's car. Driving through the back roads, Brendon turned so he could face Josh better. "I'm gonna talk to Tyler's friends about the party today." Josh nodded, stopping at a light. "I'll do it at lunch. Come with me." Josh crinkled his eyebrows and stared at him. "Yes." Josh rolled his eyes and sighed, turning down another road before pulling into the high schools parking lot, finding his space and parking. He saw in his rear view mirror Tyler and his douchebag friends. Brendon was rambling about something, probably the party, but Josh didn't care nor was he even listening. He continued to stare in his rear view mirror. Tyler was wearing black basket ball shorts, a white T-shirt with a black zip up hoodie, unzipped. "Josh!" he swung his head to look at Brendon, his eyebrows slightly raised. "Did you hear me?" Josh nodded, pulling out his phone and sending a text to Ashley.

Sent: i'm in the parking lot still if you're at school

He locked it and set it on the dashboard. Josh's focus went back to Tyler. He watched him run his fingers through his fluffy hair and smile at his friend. A figure walked through the image in the mirror and showed up in Josh's window, he looked out and smiled, grabbing his books from the back seat and getting out of the car with Brendon. "So?!" She pressed immediately.

"Dad kicked me out." Josh mumbled. He didn't want to say it and he cringed at his own words. It didn't feel real to him.

"What?!" she yelled, Josh saw Tyler and his friends look over. His cheeks went red and he stared at his shoes as he nodded. "He kicked you out?! Why?!" she was still yelling and Tyler was still staring.

"They found out I was gay, and Dad got pissed, and then I got pissed, and we fought, and then he kicked me out." he explained quickly, not wanting to dwell on the subject.

"It was my fault, and I never really apologized. I'm sorry, Josh." Brendon piped up and Josh shook his head.

"No, dude, don't worry about it, really. I'm not upset or anything, he was being over dramatic. It was about time they found out." Brendon nodded, his face full of concern. They started walking towards the school, Josh could feel eyes on him and when he looked to the group of basketball players, Tyler's eyes met his and didn't look away, but Josh did.

"So they kicked you out because you're gay." Josh nodded, he hoped Tyler didn't hear. Maybe he did want him to hear. "And you're staying at Brendon's?" Josh nodded again.

"Wait, I'll just talk to them now," Brendon smiled, turning and walking over to Tyler and his friends, grabbing Josh's arm in the process, Ashley followed but stayed a few steps behind. "Hey, guys," Brendon smiled smugly. Josh was always jealous with how easy it was for him to talk to anyone. "My buddy Josh and I are throwing a party next weekend. Ya know... to kick off the new year!" He said making a fist with his right hand, hooking his elbow and swinging his arm in front of his chest so the fist met his shoulder. Sarcastic ass. His arm dropped back to his side. Josh's eyes roamed around the circle of jocks until they fell on Tyler's. Their eyes locked and Josh wanted to look away so badly. He felt his heart begin to race and his cheeks heat up and he was praying no one was looking at him. He was praying no one noticed his red face, sweaty palms that he was now absentmindedly rubbing against his pant leg. He saw Tyler's lips move but did not hear one word come out. Those lips. Those perfect, perfect lips. He felt an arm around his shoulder and he snapped out of his small daydream. "Josh here party's all the time." Josh nodded. "He didn't get much sleep that night is all." The circle all smirked at Josh, snickering, and he could feel his cheeks burn.

"H-he didn't mean it like that." Josh protested, looking up at Tyler who was giving him a sincere smile. A wave of relief washed over him when he saw the toothy grin on his face.

"J? Class is starting." Ashley tapped Josh is shoulder. As the three walked into the school Josh still felt eyes burning at the back of his head. He turned around and saw Tyler smiling at him. Was he blushing? They walked through the sea of people in the hallway and Josh saw Alex, Pete, and Patrick waiting for them at Josh's locker. He tracked toward them, flicking his chin up as a hello. Ashley parted from them, waving goodbye as she met up with a few of her friends. 

"Wait, Josh!" Someone grabbed his hand and pulled him, Josh turned so they were facing each other. Tyler. What was his problem why did he keep staring at Josh?

"What? Oh! Hi, Tyler," Josh smiled.

"Hey. Did you dye your hair?" Tyler's eyes wandered up Josh's face at the red curls peaking out from under his hat. 

"oh yeah! last night at Brendon's Alex dyed my hair red," he took off his hat and ran his hand through it, fluffing it up a bit. 

"it looks sick! I would never have the balls to do that."

"Yeah, I decided I needed a change," Josh's palms were sweaty. He focused on what he needed to say so he wouldn't stutter. 

"Well, I really like it. I'll see you in class," Tyler smiled. 

"yeah, see ya," Josh's smile grew and Tyler walked backwards a few steps, keeping his lock on Josh's eyes until he turned on his heel and joined his friends again. Josh stood for a few seconds. What just happened? Tyler just said he liked his hair. Tyler Joseph. He turned to his locker and spun the dial, opening it. Pete and Patrick were standing next to each other on Josh's left, Alex leaning against the door of Josh's locker, they all crowded him. Brendon was leaning on another locker next to Alex, smirking. 

"What the hell was that?!" Alex smiled. Josh ignored him. he closed his locker, a huge grin still plastered on his lips as he walked down the hall, ignoring the calls of his name, and into his history class. quickly scanning the seats, he saw a few open desks in the back. he picked the one closest to the window and sat down. he pulled out his phone and checked the group chat.

Brendon changed the name of the group chat from "josh is a slut!!" to "joshler stans"

Sent: joshler? what is a joshler?

Brendon: jish cmon!!

Pete: Josh + Tyler = joshler

Sent: mkay but it ain't gonna happen sooooo

Alex: stfu that boy is smitten for you

Sent: he's cute af

Sent: fuck fuck fuck SOS SOS HELP

Brendon: wtf

Alex: wat

Sent: he just walked in

Sent: hES WALKING TOWARSS ME FUCJ GHYS HELO

Alex: helo

Alex: FROM THE OTHER SIIIIIIDE

Brendon: omfg

Josh locked his phone and set it on the desk. he felt his heart racing, his cheeks flush red, his palms started to get sweaty. anxiety rushed his body. he saw Tyler smile at him and he looked away. anywhere but Tyler. "Mind if I sit down?"

"you don't want to sit with your friends?" Tyler shook his head and sat next to Josh.

"so you didn't get much sleep last night, huh?" a smirk rise on Tyler's lips and Josh held his breath for a moment before looking at his desk, clearing his throat and looking back at Tyler.

"N-no. not really. I slept at Brendon's an-"

"oh, oh, I see. you and Brendon then?"

"me and Brendon what?.. oh! oh, no, no, not at all. he's like a brother to me. ew no. Brendon and I? really?" Josh laughed a little but he recognized a tone and Tyler's voice. A disappointed tone? 

"Hey, man. You do you. You can be gay, I don't care."

"what? I'm not-- well I am... but I'm not.. with Brendon." he stuttered, his knee started to bounce under the desk, he brought his hand to the back of his neck and ran his fingers nervously through the strands peaking out from under his hat. Tyler nodded. Josh felt his anxiety spike. he was so confused. was Tyler playing mind games with him? why did Tyler care? why was he sitting next to him? why? 

"So you're going to the party?"

"Yeah," Josh rolled his eyes and sighed. "Bren's parties are always interesting ones."

"do you know who else is going?" Tyler smiled, they heard their teacher start talking, their voices lowered to a whisper. 

"um, Pete, trick, Alex, Jack... your friends... that's all I know. but Brendon will end up inviting the entire school, probably. anyone he deals to." he saw Tyler's eyebrows furrow briefly when Josh mentioned his small clan.

"Dun?!" Mr. Roberts called from the front of class. 

"Here," Josh rose his hand, setting it back down on the desk he looked over at Tyler who was still staring at him. "Why do you keep doing that?" he asked cautiously.

"Doing what?" Tyler felt his cheeks turn a light shade of pink as he asked defensively.

"You keep..." he paused, looking down at his desk before looking back at Tyler who had some sort of nervous look on his face. "You keep staring at me. I-it's not a bad thing I was just wondering if like... is there something on my face? Did I miss the toothpaste on my lip or di-" Tyler was smiling and Josh was blushing and Tyler licked his lips and Josh couldn't take it. 

"Joseph?" 

"Here," Tyler didn't look away from Josh, which made Josh nervous. Tyler's eyes were dark, they roamed Josh's face, glancing down at his lips. Josh looked away, anywhere but Tyler. Josh saw Tyler's douchebag friends in the front of class staring back at them, he looked down at his desk, his other knee starting to bounce. Tyler looked from his friends to back at Josh, his nervousness radiating off of him. "Josh? Josh, there's nothing on your face. I was just...I wanted to get to know you, that's all."

"Listen, dude, I get that my sister is pretty and all, but she has a boyfriend and I'm pretty su-"

"Dun, Joseph. Pay attention." Mr. Roberts turned back to the PowerPoint on the white board. Josh sighed and turned to look at the board. Although he wasn't paying attention. How could he? How can someone expect Josh to focus on school when he just had a conversation with the hottest guy he's ever seen that will last him every shower for the next month and a half. 

The day went on and Josh was in a daze. He thought about Tyler. He thought about the party as he walked into the cafeteria, finding his group of friends and sitting down at the large round table between Patrick and Alex. "Hey, dude. So are we gonna talk about what happened at your locker?" Alex elbowed him and Josh blushed.

"Nothing happened, he just said he liked my hair."

"Well, it is sick." Alex scoffed. 

"But then, in history, we kept talking and he was so cute." Alex nodded, taking the hint and noticing Josh scoot closer, he leaned in. "So I sat in the back, and he came and sat down next to me, and his friends sat in the front, like, why the hell would he do that right? And he was making me so nervous, and I think I saw him blush, and then he said he wanted to get to know me."

"No way. Joshler will rise!" Alex called out.

"Joshler rice?!" Pete laughed and everyone gave confused chuckles. "So are you guys a thing yet?"

"Fuck off, Pete." Josh shook his head, catching a pair of brown eyes walking past.

"Hey, Josh!" Tyler gave a wide toothy smile.

"Hi, Tyler." Josh smiled back.


	5. Thank God It's Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mkay I'm jumping a bit but I'm very excited for this chapter I've been working on it for a while. I apologize for it being so long.

Josh's POV:

 

The week was a mess. It consisted of planning the party that was this weekend. I didn't think too much about it, I let Brendon take care of it. The only thought that ran through my head was alcohol. I couldn't wait for the sweet relief of drinking and burning my throat. I currently sat in English, Brendon next to me furiously typing on his phone. Tyler sauntered in, weaving through the desks and setting his backpack on the floor between my desk and the open one on my right. He smiled at me, my eyes following him as he took his seat. Brendon looked up and smiled at me, winking. I lightly shook my head as he went back to texting. Tyler looked over, past me at Brendon, I smiled at how his eyebrows nit together and his forehead crinkled. "He's planning the party," I explained, Tyler's face relaxed as he nodded. "You'll be there?" 

"Yeah, absolutely. Me and some of the guys are going. Where is it?"

"Brendon's. His parents are going out of town for their anniversary." Tyler nodded, pulling out a black notebook, leaning over it and quickly writing something down, closing it and shoving it into his backpack, pulling out a red notebook labeled English in black marker, his name scribbled in the top left corner. I bounced my knee and looked at the white board. I couldn't pay attention. I was tired. Drained. I needed a week off from everything and just sleep. I haven't played my drums in about two weeks, and I was going crazy. Maybe I could stop by my house and pick them up when no one was home. Where would I put them? I didn't want to piss off Brendon's parents. Maybe I'll just go the music shop in town and play their floor models again. I'm sure they'd love that. I wonder if Tyler played music. I looked over at him. His hands looked soft. I wish I could hold one. I looked back to the board where my teacher scribbled homework in blue Expo. I knew Brendon wasn't paying attention but I was way too lazy to write it down, so I hoped I would remember something from it. I wondered why Tyler was sitting next to me. Why didn't he sit with his friends? Maybe they annoyed him. They annoyed me. Then again, everything annoyed me right now. I didn't realize how much I needed this party. It was tomorrow night, so I could see why Brendon was stressing.

When the bell rang, I sighed. I had no idea what had happened in class but I guess it wasn't too important. I stood and grabbed my notebook off my desk, yawning. Tyler saw me and smiled, huffing out a light laugh. My cheeks turned pink. Man, does he have a way with me. I wish he was mine. I waited for Tyler to pass me, and I walked behind him, Brendon following, staring down at his phone, I felt a buzz in my pocket. "Bye, Josh, I'll see you later." Tyler smiled a toothy smile. Swoon. 

"Yeah, I'll see ya," I grinned, heading down the hall with Brendon. We stopped at my locker, I exchanged books and we met up with Alex, Jack, Patrick, and Pete as we walked out of the school to our cars. I saw Alex look behind him and he quickly turned back, grinning at me like an idiot. "What?" I questioned.  
"I'll text you." he shook his head, walking behind me to go to his car, Jack followed him. Brendon got in the front seat of my car as we said goodbye to Patrick and Pete. I felt my phone buzz when I opened my door, I took it out and heard Brendon gasp next to me. I quickly opened the text:

joshler stans:

Alex: tyler was checking josh out big time

Alex: he wants the d!!!!!!!

I felt my heart race, my cheeks were burning, my stomach was flipping. All because he looked at me?

Alex: he was staring at your ass when i looked back and he saw me and hIS FUCKING CHEEKS WENT RED OH MYGO D

Tyler was staring at my ass. Tyler was staring at my ass. TYLER WAS STARING AT MY ASS.

Alex: josh!!!

Sent: are you sure

Alex: 1000000000000%

I locked my phone and started my car, pulling out of my spot and driving to Brendon's house. I stayed quiet but I heard Brendon talk over the music blasting through the speakers. I pulled out a cigarette from the glove compartment and lit it, rolling down the windows. He was talking about Tyler, then the party, then Tyler at the party. I zoned out quite a bit. We got to his house and I parked in front of their yard. Getting out, I grabbed my books and walked inside with Brendon, walking into his room. I sat in his desk chair and he laid on his bed. "So, everything is figured out for the party. I have the liquor situation figured out, drugs, I'll make a playlist the day of. Everyone is gonna show up, dude, this is going to be killer."

"Your parties always are, Bren." I said with slight sarcasm. Brendon huffed out a breath and sat up.

"Dude, you need to get laid or something. Get it in with Joseph." he smirked.

"Tyler? No way."

"Are you serious? Alex literally just told us he was checking you out. Make your move," he shrugged. I shook my head. 

"I just need a nap, I think. I have a headache." Most likely from not playing my drums. "Hey, is there any place I could put my drums... if I went a picked them up?"

"Yeah, dude, we don't use the garage and since the house isn't really connected to it, my parents wouldn't mind. When were you thinking about getting them?"

I shrugged, "I'll talk to Ashley and see when my parents are gone for a while." he nodded. "I'm gonna take a nap, alright?"

"Sure, dude." with that, I got up and went into the guest room, slipping under the covers as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out like a light.

I didn't wake up until the next morning and my first thought was of the party. I sighed. I wasn't sure if I was nervous for the party, but I wasn't excited. Maybe I was just tired. Tired of everything. Brendon not shutting the fuck up about the party, the guys not shutting the fuck up about Tyler, tired of not being in my bed, in my room, playing my drums. I felt a twinge of regret. Maybe I should have bit my tongue, like I have done for years. Maybe I should have apologized. Apologized for who I am, like I could control who I was attracted to. It's just how I was born. How my brain was wired. I'm not sorry about it. I sighed. I was thinking too much. 

The day went by in a breeze, I barely paid any attention in class. Brendon and I left school early to set up his house. We pulled couches to the sides of the room, ate some lunch, set up the speaker system, smoked, ate a second lunch, and by the time we were done setting everything up it was roughly four, going on five. No one would be here for a while so we called up the guys who came over, smoked with us, and played Smash Brothers. I was in a daze. My stomach had a queasy feeling inside of it. I took a deep breath as I watched Alex and Pete play on the screen. I saw Brendon blush at his phone. "Did Dallon send nudes?" He dead panned over to me and I buckled over, holding my stomach laughing, the rest joining. 

I looked in the mirror one last time. My grey NASA T-shirt clung loosely to my torso, my black skinny jeans had rips in the knees and my all black vans. I grabbed a black beanie from my bag and huffed out a breath as I walked out of the room. I heard music blasting from downstairs, and the side door open and close a few times. People were already here? I hoped they didn't notice me as I walked down the stairs to the basement. I saw Brendon talking to Dallon Weekes and Ryan Ross. I walked over and grabbed a can of PBR from a cooler, cracking it open I took a swig and wiped my lips with the back of my hands.

___

I sat on the couch in Brendon's basement. The brown faux leather coming a part at every seam. I sipped my beer. Number five, but I didn't feel a thing. This was nothing. I'm still sober and this beer still sucked. "Josh, don't drink too much, yeah?" Brendon came over and said in my ear so I could hear him over the blaring music. I nodded, marveling the red cup in my hands. He patted my shoulder before walking away. I think I saw him and Dallon go upstairs. At least someone here is getting laid. I looked up from my cup and saw Pete and Trick sucking each other's mouths off in the corner. I took a gulp of my beer, finishing it. I needed to feel something. I got up, placing my cup on the coffee table, and grabbing a half full bottle of some shitty vodka and sat back down on the couch. I took a swig and it burned. Vodka wasn't really my drink but I needed to feel something. I felt the couch dip next to me and I looked over. I saw Tyler sitting there. Dark navy blue skinny jeans, light and dark grey striped T-shirt and floral vans. 

"Heyy Jooosh." Oh my God. Oh my God, he was drunk. Tyler was drunk and sitting next to me. "Josh whatcha thinkin bout?" 

"Ty, are you drunk?" I never called him Ty before. Only in my head was he called Ty. 

"Mm, yeah probably." he gave me a goofy smile and I laughed lightly. I set my bottle of vodka down. I low-key hoped no one would drink it, but I knew they would. Grabbing Tyler's arm, I wrapped it around my shoulders and helped him off the couch, up the stairs and down the hall. We entered the guest bedroom and I laid him down on the bed. "J-osh what are ya doing? The party is downstaaaaairs." Tyler protested. 

"I know, but you have to go to sleep now." I smiled down at him from the end of the bed. 

"But whhyyy." he sat up on his elbows. 

"Because you are very drunk and I don't want you getting hurt."

"No I wanna go back to the partyyyy!"

"Tyler, the party is over," I lied, but I didn't want him to get hurt and his hangover is going to be bad enough. 

"It is?" his words slurred together.

"Mhm, it's over," I took Tyler's shoes off, letting them fall at the foot of the bed. He rolled to his side, facing the wall and his eyes started to shut. I grabbed a pillow and walked next to the bed, placing the pillow on the floor and laying down. I heard Tyler's breathing steady and him start to lightly snore. My eyes drifted shut. I thought about how his hair would smell and how it would feel under my chin when I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind him. we would fall asleep like that. and wake up like that.

\---

My eyes opened and all I felt was discomfort. My back was throbbing, my side was aching. I sat up and looked over at the bed. Tyler was facing me, asleep still. He looked so peaceful. I sighed and grabbed fresh clothes from my bag, walking into the bathroom and turning on the shower water. Once the steam started to rise, I stripped off my clothes and stepped in. The water felt good on my back, I felt the ache slowly start to fade away. I washed my hair and body and stepped out, running a towel through my hair and got dressed. I'm not sure if I wanted Tyler to be awake when I got back into the room. I guess I didn't really care. I opened the door and Tyler was sitting up in the bed. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" he shook his head, putting it in his hands and rubbing his temple. "I'll be right back," I said, walking down the hall into the kitchen. I opened a few cabinets until I found a bottle of Advil, I grabbed a glass of water and went back to the room, giving him the pills and sat next to him, handing him the water. 

"Thank you." he sighed peacefully.

"No problem," I smiled softly and when I looked up i locked with his eyes. They were dark, filled with so much I wanted to look into them forever, and explore every bit of his brain. My eyes went to his lips and I licked mine. He saw that because a smile rose on his lips. I started to lean in. I felt like a force, greater than I, was pushing me into him. My heart was racing. He was leaning in and he licked his lips. I couldn't do it. I couldn't kiss him. I was sober. He was sober. But I still couldn't do this. He let out a small laugh and pulled back. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. Tyler scooted behind me and laid down on the bed. 

"Did you wanna lay down?" I didn't lay down. It didn't feel right. This was all weird. "Josh?"

"Yeah Tyler?"

"Why didn't you kiss me?"

"W-what?" what. 

I felt the bed dip a little more and guessed he rolled over so he was facing my back. "Why didn't you kiss me, just now?" what?!

"Tyler, we barely know each other." I didn't look at him. 

"I know you play the drums."

"Everyone knows I play the drums." I countered. 

"Okay... I know your dad kicked you out because you're gay." well fuck. 

"That's not really your business." I snapped. 

"Then you should teach your sister to quiet down."

"Excuse me?" I stood and faced him. "Don't give my sister lip. her older brother just got kicked out of their house, of course she's gonna be pissed, and she has every right to be." Who the fuck does he think he is?!

"I-I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry, I really am." Tyler sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. I stood and stared at the floor. "Can you sit? I really do want to get to know you." I sighed. Sitting against the pillow, my head leaning on the wall. Tyler sat criss-cross in front of me. "So. Tell me about yourself."

"What do you wanna know?" my eyebrow raised.

"Umm, how long have you been playing drums?"

"Since I was 12."

"Where do you want to go to college?"

"I don't. I just wanna play music." 

"Same." he nodded.

"What?"

"Yeah I sing, and play piano, and I'm learning ukulele." 

"So basketball isn't your life anymore? That was fast."

"Don't get me wrong, I love basketball. I always will. I just... music is so important to me. it takes me away."

"I get that." I didn't really want to talk anymore. I think Tyler could sense that, but he kept pushing.

"I really am sorry about saying all that..." he looked down at his feet, picking at the hem of his jeans.

"It's alright. It's just been a long week." I leaned over and grabbed the pillow off the floor, putting it behind my back with the other pillow. 

"Did you... sleep on the floor?"

"Yeah, is that okay? I just wanted to make sure you weren't gonna get sick."

"That was.. really sweet of you, and I was a complete dick just now. I'm so sorry."

"Tyler, stop, it's alright. You're hungover, your head hurts. You just said it in the moment, it's okay."

"You're very understanding."

"I try," I smile at him and he smiles back. I can't take my eyes off of him. This is crazy, right? Here he was, my dream boy, Tyler Joseph. Sitting on my bed. Trying to kiss me moments ago. Why did I pull away? Why couldn't I have kissed him, ripped his clothes off. Kiss him all the way down. 

"Josh?" I blinked and looked up from his knee where I guess my eyes wandered to. "You alright?"

"I'm fine. sorry, just blanked for a second." 

"It's okay.. where is everyone?"

"Brendon is probably in his room, I'm not sure where everyone else is." I rummaged through my bag and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, shaking one out and grabbing a lighter. I crawled to the side of the bed against the wall and pushed the window open, lighting the cigarette, inhaling and exhaling into the breeze. 

"Those are bad for you." Tyler piped up. I took it from my lips and looked over at him. 

"Yeah, they are. I should quit."

"Yeah." we sat like that for a while. The occasional cough from me. But it was quiet. Not awkward, surprisingly. "I can help you." Tyler spoke softly and I looked over from the window. "Help you quit smoking, I mean." I gave him a confused look. "if you want me to, I mean."

"It's that important to you, huh?"

"It's so bad for you. So yes, it is important to me."

"Why do you want to help me?"

"Why not?" I sighed lightly, took another drag. I felt his eyes burning in the back of my head. I ashed the cigarette on the window sill and left it there. I turned to face Tyler.  
"Okay what's your deal?"

"What?"

"Why have you been staring at me and not looking away and you sit next to me in class." 

"I'm sorry I didn't know it offended you-"

"No, Tyler. I just want to know why. I'm not in your crowd. is this all a joke or something?"

"Josh, no. It's not. I only came to this party because I knew you were gonna be here. Josh, I like you. a lot. alright? all my friends have been teasing me but there's something about you that... just draws me." my eyebrows raised and my mouth opened slightly. Was I dreaming? I'm not sure if I wanted to be or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow okay this was long as shit I'm sorry. hope you enjoyed! Sorry the ending was kind of abrupt. 6 will be out soon!!


	6. Doubt

Tyler's POV:

 

"All my friends have been teasing me, but there's something about you that... Just draws me." I paused. What was I doing? He probably thought I was crazy. His eyebrows nit together, his eyes wandering downward. What have I done? "A-and your smile is just..." I was still talking? _Yeah, you were. Idiot._ I just kept rambling. _I know, you're so annoying. What are you? Twelve? Josh was probably begging for you to leave. He pro--_

What is this?

Warm.

Soft.

Josh was kissing me.

He crashed his lips into mine. Our mouths moved in harmony before cool air hit my now puffy lips. My eyes opened and I looked up into his. Hazel pools filled to the brim with warmth. I wanted to grab his face and kiss him some more. I wanted to run my fingers through his curls. I wanted... Wait. Where did he go? Where did Blurryface go? He was just here telling me how much of an idiot I was. My eyebrows mushed together in thought, I saw Josh's face fall to concern. "A-are you... W-was that okay?" 

"What?" I stopped worrying about Blurryface, as much as I hated him, I couldn't live without him. No. "Yeah, yeah.. that was..." Perfect. Incredible. Everything I dreamt it would be. I want more. I want so much more. I felt myself leaning in, I saw Josh do the same. 

See, the first kiss is just kind of a test to see if either of you could go through with it and actually kiss the other. The second kiss is a test to see if you feel sparks. Ya know, the first kiss is all adrenaline, and hormones. But that wasn't important right now, none of that was.

What _was_ important was the fact that Josh's lips were so close to mine, and I felt something in my stomach, and he looked so good, and I wanted to tear his shirt off and kiss him down, and I was thinking with my dick, but I didn't care because who could stop me from doing so?

I had to stop thinking. Josh's lips were on mine, hungry. He was hungry. I was hungry. The kiss tasted like a combination of mint toothpaste, stale beer, and shitty vodka. I felt a small pounding begin in the back of my head but I ignored it when I felt Josh lean further into my lips. My fingers were in his hair, one of my hands sliding to the back of his neck. His right hand was on my thigh and I was screaming on the inside. His grip tightened and a moan slipped through my lips into his and I felt his lips return a smirk. His tongue was in my mouth and my fingers pulled at his hair. 

"Hey, Jo- woah." the spot where Josh's hand laid was now cold and we stared at the door. Brendon was staring at us with a smirk plastered to his lips. "I was going to ask if you got it in last night but this answers that question." his hair was stuck in all sorts of directions, his boxers on one hip and below the other. Dallon came over and grabbed Brendon, pulling him back. Josh licked his lips, and sat staring at the open door. His cheeks were a shade of pink. Maybe two tones lighter than his hair. We sat like that for a while. Silent. I scooted closer to him and his head shot up, his eyebrows raised.

"Sorry.." practically a whisper. Blurryface was still quiet but I could feel his red eyes judging me inside my mind. Josh shook his head. I wish I could kiss him after that.

"I don't mind." Josh smiled, his lips parted to say something but was cut off by the ringing on the bedside table. I grabbed my phone and sighed as I answered it.

"Hello?...I stayed at Jordans... I know I'm sorry my phone died... Yeah, I'm on my way. I'm sorry." My mom sounded angry on the phone and I placed it on the bed.

"Are you leaving?" I nodded, not looking him in the eye. He nodded. "Well... We should hang out sometime." his voice picked up and I smiled, my eyes wandered up to meet his. 

"Yeah, we should. Here," I grabbed my phone and opened it to a new contact screen, handing it to him. Josh's cheeks deepened in color as he took my phone and tapped his number into it. _Josh Dun._ I stood and Josh followed, walking to the front door with me. His lips pecked my cheek and he smiled. I could feel myself blush, biting my lip I walked out the door. Standing on the front steps, I didn't see Jordan's car anywhere. Did he leave without me?

"Everything okay?" Josh questioned behind me, walking out.

"Jordan left without me, so now I have to walk across town to get home," I was upset and I didn't try to hide it. No one was stopping me. 

"I can give you a ride, if you want."

"Really? You don't mind?"

"Not at all, let me get my keys." Josh walked into the house and came back with his shoes on, phone, wallet, and keys in hand. When we got in, he started the car and pulled out of the driveway, heading down the road. Death Cab For Cutie played over the speakers and I felt content. I could stay like this forever. I looked over at Josh who was mouthing the words, his let elbow resting on the door with his fingers twisting his hair. "Mind if we make a small detour?" his lips spread into a smile. How could I mind anything with a smile like that on his face? I shook my head and he turned right, heading for the back of downtown. The roads were small and tiny shops were open on either side of us. I couldn't believe I had never seen this part of the city. It was so quaint and cute. Josh pulled into a small coffee shop and parked. We walked in and I was sent into a sensory overload. Like a Starbucks but way less mainstream. Small. Red booths lined the large windows, and smaller round tables lined the walls. Josh got on line and tugged on my hand, pulling me away from the door and closer to him. 

"Hey, Josh! The regular?" A guy called from the register.

"Yeah! What do you want?" Josh asked, my smile dropped. I hadn't looked at the board of coffee and I felt eyes on me. _Way to go, idiot._ Fuck. Fuck he was back. It's okay. Just get what you get at Starbucks.

"U-uh.. a flat white?" I felt my frame shrink, and Josh nodded, giving a warm smile. My shoulders relaxed.

"A flat white, Joe." Joe nodded and rang us up, I was going for my wallet when Josh pulled out cash and handed it to Joe, who gave him change. Josh put it in the tip jar. The drinks came out and we headed back out the door to Josh's car. I looked down at my coffee cup, Josh's name scribbled in black marker. The letters were mushed together which made his name come out as _Jish._ Josh was mouthing the lyrics to a Grouplove song. I'm not sure if I was falling in love. "What's your address?" Josh looked over at me and I noticed we were little ways down from the town.

"Make the next right," I pointed ahead of us, Josh turned right. "Not this left, but the next one and then my house is the third on the left. The tan one." he nodded, twisting his hair again until he parked in front of my house. My two younger brothers and younger sister were playing basketball in the driveway but stopped when they noticed us. We gave a wave and Josh turned to me.

"I guess I can't kiss you, can I?" I smiled, my cheeks heating up. "Text me?" he asked.

"Of course. Thanks for the ride, and the coffee. I'll see you later." I got out of the car and shut my door.

"Yeah, I'll see you later." he smiled, taking a sip of his coffee. I walked into my house and quickly went up the stairs into my room. I shared it with Zack but he was outside which allowed me to be alone for a little while.

It was quiet. I sat on my bed and I tried to find the noise in the silence. But I couldn't. Something was missing. Something was off. Blurryface came back for a second earlier but then left again. I don't understand. Why was he gone? Why were you gone, Blurry? I questioned in my mind, practically screaming it. I noticed my black notebook on my desk and I went over to it, opening to a blank page. I picked up a black pen and started letting my mind drift off into a daydream filled with Josh's smile and hazel eyes. 

_I'll take you on a ride_

_I will make you believe you are_

_lovely._

I sighed and skipped a few lines.

_I don't fall slow like I used to._

_I fall straight down._

_You've stolen my air catcher._

_That kept me safe and sound._

_Ugh, Tyler, you have got to stop. These are terrible, are you kidding me? Josh doesn't care about you, he feels bad for you. I bet you this was all a dare. You're a joke, Tyler. A fucking joke._

I put my pen to paper.

_Won't you go to someone else's dreams?_

_Won't you go to someone else's head?_

_Haven't you taken enough from me?_

_Won't you torture someone else's sleep?_

_No, no, Tyler. I can't do that. You're mine. Understand? You're no good without me, no. You can't live without me, no._ I wanted to scream. I wanted to run away. I wanted to sleep and never wake up. _Do it._ "Shut up, Blurry." I groaned, placing my pen down and letting my head fall in my hands, my fingers tangling in the roots of my hair and pulling at them. I went to my bed and laid down. I wished Josh was there. He made me feel safe and sound. He made my demon disappear. I wonder if Josh would hold me. _No. You're a walking denial._ "Shut up," I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut. _You're filed as a crazy suicidal headcase._

What made him go away? What did I do that made him go away. I paced my room when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

Jordan: sorry I left you. mel needed help with something ;)

I rolled my eyes.

_Sent:_ it's fine. I got Josh's number!

A smile on my lips.

_Again, he feels bad for you._

I clicked on Josh's name and started typing, my lips shrinking to a neutral expression.

_Sent:_ hey, it's Tyler

I waited a reply, pacing my room.

Josh: hey, tyler. what's up!

Blurryface shut up.

Josh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long, school was kicking my ass. I have a final 12/8 but after that I'm out of school until the middle of January so I'll be able to update a lot more.


	7. March To The Sea

Tyler's POV:

 

I laid in bed, my eyes blinking slowly, my breathing steady. _Didn't get much sleep, Tyler? What a shame._ I rolled my eyes and sighed. I wasn't sure what time it was. My room wasn't dark, so I guessed it was at least ten in the morning. I rolled over and saw a rim of light come from my phone that was screen down, charging, on my night stand. I grabbed it, pulling the charger from it. 

Josh: coffee?

Josh: was that weird?

Josh: sorry

I felt butterflies in my stomach as I read the texts. I texted him back, hoping it wasn't too late to take him up on the offer. _It was too late. He doesn't want you to go with him. HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU._

_Sent:_ did you go yet? 

I scrolled through my Twitter, seeing a notification come from Josh.

Josh: I can be at your place in 10 minutes

I smiled, my cheeks turning a shade of pink. If he didn't want me there he could ignore my texts, Blurry. I scoffed in my head. Getting out of bed, I adjusted my boxers and saw Zack still asleep in bed. Pulling open my dresser drawers, I picked through the T-shirts and decided to go with a plain black shirt and my flower kimono. I grabbed black jeans, clean boxers and walked into the bathroom, turning on the shower and waiting for the water to heat up before I got in.

Josh's POV:

I sighed heavily before walking into Brendon's room, finding him in bed with Dallon. "Bren, I need soethin to wear. I'm going out with Tyler." I looked through his closet as he stood and walked over, pulling at clothes and examining them, holding them up to my body to see them with the grey jeans I had on. He tossed me a black hoodie and sat on his bed.

"That's it?"

"It's my lucky hoodie. Every time I wear it get laid." I rolled my eyes as he smirked.

"I'm not having sex with him."

"Yet. And that's where this hoodie comes in handy. I think the secret is that I've never washed it." I grimaced, dropping it on his dresser and leaving his room. I shuffled through my bag and pulled out a black T-shirt with the _X-Files_ poster on it. I pulled it over my head and slipped on my shoes.

Driving to Tyler's, I took in the surroundings. Noticing how the yellow house on the left corner before his street has a small, fluffy dog always sitting on the window sill, how the houses seemed to grow as I approached his. Once I did, I parked out front and knocked on the door, his younger brother Jay answering. "Uh, hey, is Tyler around?" He nodded, letting me in as he called up the stairs for Tyler, and their mother came from the kitchen. "Hi, I'm Josh, Tyler's friend." I smiled, awkwardly sticking out my hand, which she took and gave me a warm smile. She opened her mouth to speak but Tyler came barreling down the stairs, flowers flowing beautifully behind him, like he was magic and they floated around him. He took my arm and pulled me out the door, a black band around his wrist with a... black... box? Hanging from it? I couldn't get a good look at it. "Nice to meet you," I called as the door slammed behind me. 

"Sorry about them," he mumbled from the passenger side.

"Nothing happened, I was just introducing myself, they seem very nice."

"They can be," he shrugged. "They just don't know... ya know." I started my car.

"They don't know what," I questioned. 

"Ya know..." 

"No, what?" my eyebrows nit together as I looked over at him, he was fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He looked so nice. 

"They don't know, okay?" he seemed a little agitated, but I still didn't know what he was talking about.

"Tyler, if you don't want to tell me that's fine, I just don't know what you're talking about is all." he stared at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was.

"Josh," he stopped as if he didn't know where to go to from there. He looked down at his hands that began to twitch. I placed my hand in his and turned so I was better facing him. "My family... they, uh, um... they don't know that I'm um... Forget it, lets get some coffee." he looked out the window, his fingers tangling in mine. I kept my eyes on him, longer than I would like to admit. I shifted so I was facing the road and pulled away from his house, keeping my hand in his. I let him pick the music and he chose Little Wanderer by Death Cab. I dig it. 

I pull up to the coffee shop and park, looking over at Tyler who was already getting out of the car. I huffed out a sigh and followed him. We found a booth in the corner against the window. I looked out of the glass, watching the sun shine on the streets and the cars drive past. It's funny. You notice people in their natural state. A state they don't even notice. We aren't happy people. Maybe we're not sad, per say, but we don't walk around with a smile on our face. I bet half the people driving downtown don't even know about this shop. No one stops and takes notice anymore. That's half the beauty to liv--

What the hell was that?

I looked over at Tyler who was lowering a black camera from his face. A Polaroid sliding out and falling onto the table. I scrunched my face and a smile lifted to his lips as the photo developed. Joe brought us over coffee, we took some sips and Tyler picked up the picture, examining it. "Let me see," I tapped my fingers on his hand and he flipped it around for me to look at. I didn't really get it. I wasn't smiling or anything, I actually looked a little pissed off. I noticed my face was tense and I relaxed.

"You looked so deep in thought, I couldn't resist." He took another sip of his coffee and I smiled, placing the picture on the table before took it and shoved it in his wallet. I took out some cash and left it as we got up and walked back to the car. "Where to?" 

"It's a surprise," I smiled, pulling out of the parking lot and driving out of town, our windows down as I sped down the roads, music pumping as we sang along. I could hear Tyler's voice and I wished I could hear it better. It sounded beautiful. We drove a little longer until I pulled off the road and into a vacant parking lot. Tyler's eyebrows pushed together as he looked over at me when I turned the music down and turned my car off. 

"You didn't take me here to murder me did you?"

"C'mon," I laughed lightly, getting out of the car, him following. We walked over a small hill to a picnic table that over looked a calm lake. The sun was warm but the trees that crowded us gave us enough shade so we didn't need to squint our eyes. I took his hand and walked over to the lake, taking off my shoes and rolling up my jeans, I began to walk into the water where its over my ankles. Tyler stood in the grassy sand, a smile on his face. I looked back to the water and hear the click of the camera and the sound of the picture coming out. I looked behind me and I saw him picking up some stones, walking back to the table and laying the picture down, placing a stone on the white part so it can develop and not fly away. "Why do you keep taking pictures of me?" I asked when he walked back. 

"Why not?" he shrugged. I walk back over to him and I lower the camera from his face. He looks up at me with these big brown eyes. A small smile rose to his lips and I leaned in to peck his lips quickly. I took his camera and ran to the table, he chased me. "Josh! What're you doing!" I grabbed the back of my shirt, pulling it over my head and yanked my jeans off, running into the water. 

"Tyler! Come on!" I yelled as the water splashed around me. I saw a flash of his camera before he was taking off his flower kimono, T-shirt and jeans, chasing after me. 

Tyler's POV:

The water was cold as it splashed up my legs but my adrenaline rushing, I didn't seem to notice the temperature. I heard Josh laugh and I felt butterflies in my stomach. He splashed water at me and I splashed him back. He was beautiful. The way his eyes crinkled when he laughed. He took my hand and we ran deeper into the water. We kept going. The water was up to our chests and I felt arms around my waist. I could feel the sand at the bottom on my tippy toes. I wrapped my arms around Josh's neck. He kissed my nose and I blushed. "Josh?" I whispered, a smile on my face, it was slowly disappearing.

"Yes?" he whispered back.

I opened my mouth and quickly closed it. I saw his eyes search for some sort of answer as to what was going on inside my mind. Honestly, I didn't even have a clue. I bit my lower lip and looked down at the water between our two chests. 

"Tyler? What is it?"

"Josh, I'm," I closed my mouth. I didn't know how to say this. I wanted to say it so bad, I didn't know how. Where were these words coming from?

_Josh doesn't care._

_He doesn't care about you Tyler._

_Why can't it be us two?_

_Like how it used to be?_

I shook my head from Blurry's nagging voice and focused on Josh's eyes that looked like a sunrise. "Josh..."

"Tyler?" one of his hands floated softly on my back, sending chills down my spine. I closed my eyes and felt tears begin to form. I tangled fingers into the ends of his hair. "Tyler, whats wrong? Do you want to get out of the water?" I opened my eyes and I didn't realize I was crying until I saw the concerned look on his face and his hand came up to wipe away tears, which evidently left drops of lake water in replace. I shook my head to his question.

"Can I tell you something? A secret?" 

"Of course."

"I'm gay," I said just over a whisper. A smile rose to his lips. I was waiting his response. A tease. A laugh.

"Can I tell you a secret too?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"I'm gay, too." he smiled. I rested my forehead on his chest, I felt him place small kisses into my hair. I began to hum and I felt his lips grow into a smile.

"Sing to me."

"What?" I pulled away and looked up at him in confusion, a goofy smile on his face. 

"Sing what you were humming. Please?" he stuck out his bottom lip and I jokingly rolled my eyes, poking his lip and pushing it back in.

"Wise men say,

Only fools rush in

But I can't help falling in love with you

Shall I stay

Would it be a sin

If I can't help falling in love with you," Josh was smiling as we separated, he took my hands as we spun in the water. 

"Like a river flows

Surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

Somethings are meant to be 

Take my hand,

Take my whole life too

For I can't help falling in love with you."

We soon got out of the water and walked back to the picnic table, I examined the photos and smiled at the one of Josh running into the water. Josh went to his car to see if he had any towels. I picked up my camera and took a picture of the sun shining down on the lake, you could see our clothes piled up in the corner. The water was a deep blue and the sand had patches of grass sticking out of it. Josh came back with a towel and shook the sand out of it, wrapping it around me. He kissed my cheek and sat down, looking over the pictures. I set down the one of the lake I just took, and put a stone on the bottom. Josh took my camera and held it up to his face, pointing it at me. I picked up the picture of him standing in the water when we first arrived and smiled down, a flash coming from Josh. He took the picture and waved it in the air, setting it on the table. "You have a pretty smile," I blushed. "And a pretty voice." I covered my face with my hands. "You're so pretty." my smile grew and he snapped another picture. 

The air dried our bodies soon and we put on our clothes, our boxers still uncomfortably damp under our jeans. I put the pictures in my wallet and into my pocket as he took my hand and walked over to the pier. "Tyler?" I turned from the view of the horizon to look at the red headed boy on my right. 

"Yes, Josh?" he began to giggle and I couldn't help but join him. He was giddy as he looked into my eyes.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" his cheeks practically matched his hair and I didn't put it past myself to guess mine were the same shade.

"Absolutely." I smiled. He took my cheeks and kissed me. I could stay like this forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I constantly switched between Tyler and Josh's POV. I'm sorry this took forever. I'm sorry this sucks.


	8. The Run and Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long.
> 
> Josh is a horny fuck.
> 
> This is kind of a filler chapter I guess. idk. hope you like it.

Josh's POV:

Tyler and I had only been dating about a week but he’s already my best friend, and I can tell Brendon is getting jealous. God forbid he admits that. One night, Tyler and I were watching a movie in bed when Brendon barged through the door and sat right in the middle of us. “Make room for Jesus,” he reasoned and I rolled my eyes. I picked Tyler up for school every day since the day at the lake, and we would spend the rest of the evening at his house, Brendon’s house, or the coffee shop that he had grown to be quite fond of. 

I was quiet for a few days. Everything was going great and I’m pretty sure I fucked it up. I told him I couldn’t pick him up for a few days. I told him I couldn’t hang out for a few days. I don’t know why I did it. Yes I did. 

My mother called. I heard her voice strained on the other end of the phone. We fought. She wanted me to come home and _“turn straight,”_ to take care of my brother and sisters like I was _“supposed to do.”_ Brendon was next to me when she asked. _“Will you come home, Joshie? We miss you. We love you and we can help you through this hard time.”_ I hung up on her and Brendon took my phone away before I could throw it against the wall. As much of an asshole he could be, he was my best friend. 

I never told Tyler about my mother calling. I told him I didn’t feel well and needed some extra sleep. Which was partially true. After she called I couldn’t sleep for days. I was too anxious. 

It was a Tuesday when it happened. When Brendon swung my bedroom door open and pulled me out of bed. We just got home from school and I was _tired_. “Get up, loser.”

“Why can’t you let me sleep?” I groaned.

“Because I like making you suffer way too much.” He sat on my bed and rolled me over. “Call Tyler and put some pants on. We’re gonna steal your drums.”

“Wait, really? Where would we put them? Are your parents okay with it?” I felt energy course through my veins and I almost forgot what it felt like. My chest bubbled with excitement as I grabbed my phone, barely listening to Brendon’s answers to my questions. “Tyler? Can I come pick you up? I mean, are you busy? We’re gonna go get my drums from my parents’ house and we need to leave now.” I didn’t wait for him to answer before I was hanging up, pulling on my jeans and shoes and following Brendon out the door.

We pulled up to Tyler’s house and, leaving the car running, I ran up to the front door, knocking on it quickly. I turned around as I heard a dog barking down the street and when Tyler pulled the door open I turned to face him and my lips spread into a smile as I took in his features. I could tell his fingers were twisting in his hair like he did when he was concentrating or nervous. “C’mon,” I smiled, taking his hand but he pulled back. “Ty-“

“I need to get my shoes on,” Tyler stated, turning back into his house and I groaned, stomping a foot into the pavement. 

“Tyler there’s no time, come on.” I grabbed his wrist and dragged him out the door, shoeless and all. 

“Josh! What’s the rush?” he asked as he got into the front seat, Brendon climbing over the center console to sit in the back.

“We’re getting my drums,” I smiled as I drove away towards my house. My _parents’_ house. Excitement and anxiety ran through my body like a circuit. I felt wired. I haven’t played my drums in maybe a month, give or take a week. Anxiety was trapping me in my body and I felt like a prisoner. My brain was a jail and I was stuck inside of it. No escape. I would hear Brendon playing piano at night or when I was at Tyler’s he would play his uke, sometimes the piano but that would force us to stay in the living room and _”I’m not out yet, I just don’t feel comfortable and I don’t know how they would react I just can’t. Not yet.”_ Tyler would protest and he’s just too pretty and I am too lucky, I would never make him do anything he wasn’t comfortable with. I guess that’s why I’m still waking up alone and hard in the morning. I mean Tyler and I have slept together before but we’ve never _slept_ together. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to _sleep_ with him, but he’s not ready and I respect that. Taking it up the ass isn’t very comfortable the first couple of times. I don’t mind waiting. My dick minds, but I’d deal with that when I wake up. That’s not the point. The point is, I needed my drums. 

Passing the house I saw my mom’s car in the driveway and groaned, biting my lip. I saw Pete, Patrick, Alex, and Jack standing on the corner and I pulled around them, parking and getting out. “Yeah… Passed Katalina’s on Pennsylvania towards West 4th Ave. Alright, see you soon.” I heard Brendon say into his phone. “Dallon is on his way,” he beamed and I rolled my eyes. 

“Okay, here’s the plan. I’m gonna call Ashley and tell her to distract my mom, Jordan is gonna tell her he’s going out and when he opens the garage, me, Brendon, Pete will go for my drums. Patrick and Alex you go for all the equipment probably shoved in boxes somewhere… Check any cardboard box near the drums, don’t forget the Akai MPD. Now Ashley can only distract her for so long,” I saw Dallon get out of his car from across the street and walk over. “That’s where Tyler and Dallon come in. You need to distract my mom in any way that you can.”

“Wait… are we breaking into your house?” Tyler’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Nah, Jordan is keeping the garage door open.”

“Then why don’t we just go up to your mom and talk to her? Explain how she’d have more room for her things, less clutter and stuff.” Damn him. Damn him and his responsible-ness. 

“Because sh-“

“We’re just not on the best of terms, is all,” I cut Brendon off. “I’m not going to mend our relationship and apologize for something I have no control over. I’m not sorry about it.” Tyler simply nodded. After leaving the trunk of my car open, I dug out my phone and called Ashley. We slowly walked down my street and saw the garage door open and Jordan skateboarded passed us, slapping my hand for a high five.

We ran. Dallon and Tyler crept next to my house and rustled the leaves to distract her from the sounds in the garage. “I still think we should just go in and talk with her. This is ridiculous.” Tyler argued to no one in particular and Dallon shrugged. Drum pieces left and right, we hauled as much as we could, as fast as we could out and down the street to my car. I guessed Patrick wasn’t putting out because Pete tripped him with wires more times than I could keep track. Me too, Pete. Me too. 

The garage was empty with drum equipment in no time and we walked down the street, a few cables in my hand, Dallon and Tyler followed. Brendon got into Dallon’s car and Tyler and I climbed into mine, the rest of the guys deciding to walk. Driving to Tyler’s house, we stopped at a Wal-Mart for snacks. I piled cookies, chips, cookie dough, and ice cream into the cart and Tyler disappeared. I shrugged and continued to place two six packs of Red Bull, pizza rolls, and mozzarella sticks in the cart. I heard a clang come from the cart and looked behind me to see a smiling Tyler. My eyebrows furrowed and I looked down to see blue hair dye and bleach. 

\--

I pressed my lips to the bare skin above the hem of Tyler’s jeans and boxers and he shivered, pulling back away from where I was sat at his bathroom sink, and groaned. “Josh! Don’t do that or you’ll get dye in your eyes.” I chuckled until I felt him harshly tug on my hair. He untangled his fingers from my hair, threw the gloves away and sat on the sink table. “8:23 is when you can wash your hair out.” I nodded and stared up at him. He had taken his shirt off so he didn’t get bleach or dye on it and I saw him blush under my eyes. I smirked and took his hands, pulling him down on my lap. “Josh,” he whispered. 

“What?” 

“What if someone walks in?”

“No one is here, babe. Didn’t they go out for Jay’s school thing?” I think Tyler said his youngest brother had a basketball game. I wasn’t about to dwell on it when I felt warm lips being pressed to mine. My hands held his back as I swirled my tongue with his, earning a squeak and a blush from Tyler. 

His legs bracketing mine as I felt his hands hang on my shoulder blades. My lips traveled down his neck, nipping on the skin until I found a spot that made him shiver and moan. It all went straight to my dick. Fuck. That is not good. Abort mission, abort mission. I kissed his neck as a mend to the bruise I had left and pulled away. Good, I’m in the clear. 

Ah, shit.

I looked up to see Tyler biting his lower lip, letting it go as he dove in to kiss me longer, his legs getting tighter around mine I groaned. His hips rolled into mine and I moaned into his mouth, involuntarily bucking my hips back into his, earning a whimper. Holy shit is this happening right now? I slipped one hand to his hips to hold him in place. Apparently he didn’t like that and he rolled into me one more time. 

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEE-_

Tyler stood from my lap with red puffy lips and a bruised neck as he turned his alarm off. “You need to wash your hair out. I’ll go get some old towels.” He turned and walked out of the room. I quickly turned the water on and pulled my jeans and boxers down, getting into the shower. It was cold at first as I didn’t give it time to warm up and I was thankful. I didn’t think about Tyler and how his moans and whimpers escaped his mouth only to be captured by my ears and my dick. I didn’t think about the sound he made when I bit down on the part of his neck that was most sensitive. No, I didn’t think about his red puffy lips shiny with spit and how our tongues swirled perfectly together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will they ever fuck???? who knows??? 
> 
> this is so bad im sorry.
> 
> also I google mapped the Roosevelt Coffee House in Columbus to try to find a street near it ish and I was debating on East Gay


	9. xx

Please let me know if you would he interested in me continuing this story. 

I'm sorry I abandoned you. 

it won't happen again. 

\-- Dylan.


	10. xxx

please follow gvnsupdates on twitter for updates on chapters for all my fics!!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this sucked I apologize. Let me know what you think and what I can work on!


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